Private Education : Finding the right school
If you are finding it difficult to decide on the rigt school for your son or daughter, there is some consolation in recognising how much harder it would be to have no choice.
In having to decide between which independent school your child should go to, you are already one of the lucky ones where choice is concerned.
Education is about systematic learning, drawing a child out, helping a son or daughter go on to achieve all they can in life. If that sounds too "airy fairy", begin by visiting the junior school together. On the ground, you will soon find out if the teachers make you welcome. If the curriculum is varied and interesting and if the small person next to you would actually like to go there. Does the class teacher make an effort to talk to your child by name, to put them at ease? Do you find yourself warming to the situation? But you also need hard facts, practical details: class size, the kind of achievements your child will be working towards, how the school deals with naughty behaviour and what their attitude to bullying is.
If you choose a nursery at a large school like Leeds Girls' High School for example, your child should only have the "new boy" or "new girl" experience once. From nursery to sixth form level, your child's education will be a streamlined progression. But do not get the impression that being part of such a large school (well over 2000 pupils when it combines with Leeds Grammar School to become The Grammar School at Leeds) will automatically be an intimidating experience for a small child. The nursery is in a separate building as is the Junior School, each with their own playgrounds. Your son or daughter may goggle a bit at the size of the sixth formers as you walk into school together in the morning but the younger children operate in their own scaled down, separate and very welcoming world, much as they would in any small nursery. Staff:pupil ratios are the key to a friendly, ordered environment and a high staff: pupil ratio can exist just as easily in a large school as it can in a small one.
Look for a school which believes in offering pupils a broad education and a healthy mix of academic work, sport and fun. A school which automatically prevents its pupils from progressing to Sixth Form if they do not achieve all A's in their GCSEs does not have a lot of respect for pupils or for the way the school has supported them prior to the exams. One headmaster commented: "A student who has worked really hard to achieve a B or a C is every bit as important in this school as the one who has worked as hard and got the A star." I would have thought that was music to the ears of any caring parent whatever the particular skills of their child.
As a parent you will be trusting the school you choose to help your child achieve as much as he or she can, whatever their individual strengths. At the end of the day you would like your child to be well adjusted, out going, a person who takes pride in their achievement and recognise the value of hard work. This may result in an Oxbridge place or a place on another course at another university which is equally appropriate and inspiring look for a school that attaches importance to the success of your individual child, whatever form it takes.
A sixth former in one school I visited commented: "I have enjoyed being in the sixth form far more than I expected. You suddenly find you are treated in a more adult way. You work hard and the staff are right behind you. No one is allowed to get in a state even though the exams are pretty crucial." Talk to the pupils as you go round. Assess how well their dreams, aspirations and exam nerves are handled.
Before you make your mind up about which school is the right one for your son or daughter, ask the head teacher who you will be able to speak to if you have concerns and how difficult it will be to make this contact. Children's anxieties can more easily be smoothed out if they are dealt with promptly a delay in addressing their problems usually helps the problem grow. If there is even a hint of "When the teacher has time" or "Usually by the end of the week," you have to make your own mind up about how important your child's welfare is to that school.
Your son or daughter may be extremely gifted in any number of ways including sport or music. Perhaps they are too young for you to be aware of this yet. Perhaps they are not sporty at all but you would like the assurance that they will be encouraged to join in and do their best. Ask how competitive sport is does everyone have a go at a couple of events on sports day? Does the school have an inclusive approach?
If any school shies away from your questions or fails to give you straight answers they have in effect answered your question. If it is openness and transparency that you are looking for, do not settle for less. Your child's happiness could depend on it.
Editorial By Deborah Lloyd
