Keep it Going...

They say that familiarity breeds contempt and it is undoubtedly true that sexual boredom in a long-term relationship can cause people to stray. We think if you learn to make sex more fun, you will keep your partner from straying.

One morning you wake up and think, “did I really agree to stay with this boring **** for the rest of my life?” His smelly socks are still on the floor for the third day and he never takes me out any more. What’s more, I find myself timing our weekly sex session to be over before Desperate Housewives! There has to be more to life than this. Should you meet someone at this point who seems to relight that spark, you could be on the road to an affair.

Apparently, one in six people now admit to having an affair, and around half of marriages end in divorce. The question you have to ask yourself is, ‘do I really want to jeopardise this relationship, and risk all the pain an affair involves, just because sexual boredom has set in?’

If the answer is no, and you’re looking to spice things up, we can give you some ideas!

Sex & Communication
If you want to improve your sex life, communication must come first. Use positive comments rather than negative criticism, talk about what you like and dislike about your sex life. To do this, you will both have to turn away from the TV, magazines or the PlayStation, and really listen to each other.

Have you and your partner got different sex-drives? Does he want it more often than you? Many men have a stronger sex drive than women. Scientifically, this stems from increased amounts of testosterone in men. Emotionally, for many women, it can also stem from what they feel is a lack of intimacy in other areas of their lives. Women may want to hug, hold hands and kiss sometimes, whereas some men just want the act itself.

Some couples can never agree as to why they’re not having as much sex. They come up with totally different excuses for it. You must get past the excuses and rationally talk about what you both want.

Be loving
Intimacy is communicating on a personal level and it vital is any successful relationship. For many people, and women in particular, it is a lack of intimacy that can turn your sex life into something of a chore. And we all know where this can lead…

Try, try, and try again
Perfect sex has to be worked at, especially after a long time together. Without communication, both partners can spend years doing things their partner hates. Give clear, specific messages and plenty of time over to foreplay. Remember, happiness isn’t a destination; it’s a means of traveling. This old saying can be applied to foreplay. Rush through the “traveling” and you might find the destination isn’t quite as exciting as you’d expected. Lavish attention on the whole body and you can’t help but take your time.

Let your imagination take over!
When you and your partner have discussed your likes and dislikes, it is time to start working on sexual variety. There is a wealth of lovemaking techniques to try, and plenty of books, guides and sex toys to help you. So now you know what each other wants, go out and buy them!

Keep up the romance
Where did romance go? It probably got thrown out with the rubbish! After several years together it’s hard to keep up the good habits you were so keen on in your dating days, but never say never! Okay, so the initial feelings that were so wonderful in the beginning never usually make it past a year and it’s tough to feel romantic when experts like to point out that this ‘infatuation’ with one another is actually a chemical reaction. After a while, his paunch and your obsession with exercise only lead to wandering eyes… suddenly Steve in the gym looks much more appealing...

However, remain vigilant and be prepared to take the bull by its horn (quite literally!). If you are really serious about keeping the marriage flame flickering, then make it your mission to bring romance back into the home

Trust and lust
Strangely, the more familiar you are with someone, the more likely you are to hold back. True sensuality and passion require intimacy, trust and removal of inhibitions. With better understanding, you and your partner can start working on the five senses, sight, smell, hearing, touch and taste.

If just thinking about these possibilities gets you heated, you’re probably nearer to keeping it going forever than you think.