I can say no, but it’s not easy. Saying “yes” sounds so much better as it makes us look obliging, friendly and caring whereas the ubiquitous “no” sound so hard and final.

Apparently, banks love us to say "yes" and it's the most overused utterance in porn flicks (usually in quick succession). But while we just can't get enough of "yes", what about its poorer cousin, the neglected "no"?

Although we seem to have perfected complaining and are now not afraid to do battle with Germans about beach towels and are masters of the moan, why can't we bring a bit of firmness to our vocabulary? If a word could be a colour, "yes' would be the shiny, happy colour beloved of bathroom ducks, while "no' would be NHS grey. Just saying "yes' surrounds you with a gooey glow of goodness, but get in a negative frame of mind and you're more likely to be showered with bad vibes. When we're constantly running around agreeing how busy we all are, why does it seem so difficult to let a two-letter word pass our overworked lips? Just think about the time that could be saved in the company of your new one-syllable soulmate. You could work something resembling a 40-hour week, you'd only socialise with people you actually like and trips to relatives would be reduced to weddings and funerals. You could to give a lift to that bore from work and when someone asks you if you would mind doing their shopping (whilst they sunbathe in their back garden), you could bring your new friend "no" into play.

I have a lovely friend who finds it patently impossible to say "no" to any request and she is constantly running around like a headless chicken most of her life! A simple no occasionally would make her life so much easier Ð but then maybe she would not be so much liked.

Our dilemma can be best summed up in the articulate words of Little Britain's teen terror Vicky Pollard: "Yeah, but no, but yeah…' We know we want to say it, but it's just so difficult to get it out. If the Grange Hill kids could do it, surely we are just as plucky as a bunch of precocious kids. Saying "no" a little more often would make our lives so much more enjoyable. No one would have a spare tyre from too many cakes, you wouldn't shell out a fortune joining a gym you never set foot in and you'd never be forced to eat your Gran's suet how refreshing it would be for your relationship if you and your partner just let the pesky word pass your lips. She'd always be reassured her bum really doesn't look big in her satin jeans and when she feels the need for a little experimentation in the bedroom, you won't end up hanging from a lampshade feeling like a complete prat.

These facts alone should be enough to turn you to the negative side, but if you want more persuading, take a look at history for a little inspiration. If Ann Boleyn had said "no' to Henry VIII, she may have kept her head and we wouldn't have to wander round a bunch of old, ruined monasteries and Elizabeth Taylor would have saved herself a fortune on divorce lawyers.

You can find lots of opportunities to get into the negative frame of mind. The next time an Indian call centre clogs up your phone line, don't yell down the receiver like a wild man, use it as an opportunity to get in a little practice. And when you're wandering down the high street, avoid sprinting across 10 lanes of traffic to evade eye contact with the posse of pavement charity peddlers. Look them in the eye and respond to their every question with your two- letter friend. By this stage you'll feel suitably elated at the new you and will be ready to transfer your skills into more useful aspects of your life. Because we're British, this doesn't come without its complications.

Firstly you will discover that you are not programmed to utter the word without dressing up its true intent with a few softeners. Avoid tagging on "not really" or "I don't think so", or your new assertiveness could just be misconstrued as indecisiveness and you'll get yourself into even more trouble. Words like "sorry" and "unfortunately" uttered as a "no" afterthought are a little more acceptable, as you're not considered difficult, just angst-ridden.

Getting more economical with your English will even leave you with more time to say "yes" to the things you actually like. As long as this doesn't turn you into a porn star or leave you with a closet full of "boys toys", turning to the negative side may be closer to paradise than you imagined.