Church Weddings

Traditionally it is normal for the bride to turn up to the ceremony ‘fashionably late’, however, be aware that the longer she leaves it, the longer the groom must wait at the front of the church on his own. Usually if a bride turns up on time she will still end up in the church late as it will take time to get out of the car, meet the priest and compose herself. The time the bride takes is left to her own discretion, but remember that creating anticipation can cause unnecessary tension and she should only really wait until she has sorted out her veil and bouquet before she enters the church.

The Church of England is unique in the wording of its vows. The bride promises to ‘obey’ while the groom promises to ‘worship’ his wife. It is up to the couple whether they choose to include these vows or not as ‘to love and to honour’ are more popular choices.

The order of service and how much detail is included depends on the couple however, there are some customary guidelines. It is usually a simple cream or white card that matches the invitation in style and size. It is then optional to choose crests or illustrations to put on the front of the card, but anything fussy such as ribbons and tassles may distract from the elegance of the card itself.

The front cover includes the Christian names or initials of the bride and groom, the name of the church and the date and time of service. Inside, the order of service usually includes the titles of the hymns and readings, often with the title of the author or composer. It is a guide for the guests so that they know what is happening and when. The full text of the hymns is often included for those less familiar with them. This also dispenses of the need for hymn books. Note: if the choir are singing from hymn books check that the words are the same. This can be done by borrowing a hymn book when deciding on the order of service. It is also a nice touch to put a poem or saying inside the front cover of the order of service. This is not read out, but is a personal touch for the guests to read while they wait.

Usually the minister and/or registrar is acknowledged by name in the order of service and it is also a good idea to credit the organist, choir/musicians, and maybe even key members of the wedding party such as best man, bridesmaids and pages. Those who are doing readings should have their name beside their reading. Remember to get the card checked over for spelling mistakes and other printing errors well before the final copies are due to be delivered.

Music is another key decision when planning the ceremony. It is important to set the right mood in the church and a meeting with the church organist can help to inspire the couple as to what may suit them. Money will be well spent in this area if the organist and choir are hired for the day as it will encourage the congregation to join in. It is wise to choose hymns that most people will know, but which are appropriate to the service and the couple getting married. It is usual to have three hymns – at the beginning, middle and end of the service. This adds structure to the service and allows the congregation to feel included. If communion is taken then a fourth song may be added afterwards.

There are sometimes companies that specialise in wedding music packages and can provide anything from trumpeters and organists for the actual wedding service to DJs and jazz bands for the evening reception.

Quick searches on the internet can provide brilliant results in this area, but remember to check whether the musicians will expect more money if they are being videoed.