The Announcement
When announcing an engagement it is important to prioritise family and tell the parents of both the bride and groom first. Traditionally a man should ask his future father-in-law’s permission for his daughter’s hand in marriage, but nowadays couples frequently get engaged with permission being sought afterwards. It is up to you to decide how traditional your family is in order to work out the best way to get engaged.
To announce your engagement to the rest of the immediate family you should telephone them to avoid them hearing by word of mouth. An email or text is fine for everyone else as engagement cards are less traditional these days. The word should then spread quite easily on the grapevine.
After the announcement the couple may find the reaction difficult with friends and family wanting to spend quality time with them. The couple will want to spend as much time celebrating with loved ones as possible and often an engagement party soon after the announcement is a good idea.
After an informal announcement it is usual for the couple to make a more formal announcement in a local paper or broadsheet. This is usually organised where the bride’s parents are hosting the wedding, however, the couple may want to do it themselves.
Traditional Announcement
Mr T Smith and Miss K Phoenix
The engagement is announced between Thomas,
elder son of Mr and Mrs Richard Smith
of Adel, Leeds, and Kate, only daughter
of Mr and Mrs George Phoenix of Notting Hill, London
If one or both sets of parents is divorced or widowed,
the name and address of each parent is clearly spelt out.
Contemporary Announcement
Mr Thomas Smith of Adel, Leeds and Miss Kate Phoenix
of Notting Hill, London are delighted to announce their
engagement.
A summer wedding is planned.
Meeting of both sets of Parents
Once the announcement has been made it is traditional
for the couple’s parents to meet, along with the couple,
if they have not already done so. Normally the bride’s
mother writes to the groom’s parents to express delight
at the forthcoming marriage and suggesting a date and
venue for both sides to meet. Meeting in a neutral
environment such as a restaurant is a good idea so no
one has to play host. It is highly inappropriate to leave a
first meeting until the engagement party or after. This is
supposed to be a celebration so all initial awkwardness
should pass once wedding plans get under way.
Congratulations
Letters, notes and messages will usually be sent by
friends and family and should always be conveyed in
handwritten form. Emails and texts should be accompanied
by handwritten correspondence. For presents and other
congratulatory correspondence, it is usual for the couple
to respond with thanks immediately. It is preferable not
to send thanks via text or email.
